It’s one thing to have your life figured out when you’re a child.
It’s another to actually go through life and still feel incomplete. As much as I want to say I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, I haven’t really done anything as notable where I can say at 25,
“I am complete with myself.”
My Best Friend…
Akira is newly 25 and she is having a midlife crisis. To us “25 is the new 30.” All of the bills that she has to go through is getting to her along with taking care of a child being a single mom. So even if she has a decent job making decent pay, she’s still can’t enjoy herself. Reality is setting in with life. But the one of many things I love about her is that despite every obstacle she faces, she’s always strong enough to be mentally prepared.
I respect that about her..
Even knowing her for less than a year. It’s as if we’re both doing our best to survive in a very expensive city. I turned 25 months ago and I’m still scared of what’s going to happen (if it hasn’t happened already) if I don’t get into my career field as soon as possible. With what she’s going through now, is the reason why I HAVE to pass every Fire Safety Director course since i paid 180 for the 20 hour school. She says “that’s a BIG risk of a process for me to go through.” And I replied,
“That may be so, but I wanted this challenge and i can accept that.”
Only because it’s a wonderful career choice and it’s not as physically demanding. The trade off is that I have to know about my job along with me knowing about safety precautions of the building that they send me in. So I figured, if I haven’t found something to motivate me since the 10th grade… Knowing the struggles that Akira and I are facing now, would be it.
Me studying to be a Fire Safety Director would be synonymous as an inner city kid doing his best to get himself out the hood by applying himself to athletics, meaning; becoming an FSD to me is my ticket out of the minimum wage rat race. To LIVE in this beautiful city of New York, I would need to make at least a minimum of $16 or 17 dollars/hour since that would be equivalent to $67k a year, hence the starting pay of an FSD with no experience. I can see myself doing this for a long time.
My best friend and I are worried because time isn’t on our sides. We can’t be playing around like these younger cats who are 23 and younger. I find it comedy that a person that’s younger than me says “they’re getting OLDER” as if they’re in a midlife crisis. They really don’t understand how we feel even if it’s factual that they’re getting older. The margin of error is as narrow for people that’s 25 and older than it is for the youth. For sure I got myself out of retail. So, I’m a step above what I’ve been doing last year. I can be happier in a better place, hence Becoming an FSD. I’m out of the Army in less than a couple of years basically by the time I’m 27. I must say that it’s not the end of the world if I haven’t figured out by now what I want to do with my life.
But I DO know that…
I won’t be extending my time of service. The game is becoming fucked up with a lot of changes such as new leadership along with a new generation of people and that I don’t have time for. At least I can say for sure, that I’ve enjoyed my time in the military with a great group of people and have learned a lot in my time. I matured a lot like I haven’t before.
As each day passes,
Dad’s reasoning in his debates with me makes a lot more sense since I’m figuratively reaching 30 tomorrow. He sees I’m out of the rat race, slightly. I would just have to seal the deal by passing every course by next month. I know life is what I’d make it to be. I’m just doing my best to enjoy my 20s as much as I can. In life, two of the many things become difficult as people get older which are;
At 25, you kind of watch everything such as younger women (who are of age of consent) since they’re about 2 steps mentally above amongst the guys their age. More than likely, they might become a headache. She might be wanting to enjoy her youth, while I just want to lounge in my house playing 2k. Even finding women my age is just difficult. They might be 2 steps above mentally amongst guys their ages. Already in relationships, have kids, or mentally unstable just as much as the women younger. It varies. There women aren’t on the same level as me mentally, so it can be conflicting just as much as I’m not on the same level mentally with a woman older than me.
As you become older with practically no skill, little to no college education or experience, it’s difficult to even think of wanting a very great job noticing that people’s skills decline due to age at a certain age after a certain point in their lives. Top of which, the competition is just as stupid as the market.
Anyone born after 12/31/91, would never know what it’s like to hit the “Quarter of A dollar.” Also, they wont know what it’s like to have the idea of feeling OLD; especially knowing that I graduated middle school 11 years ago also graduating high school 7 years ago. Basically both almost touching a decade, respectively. People don’t know what it’s like to live something until it’s experienced in its own detail. So just because a 23 year old (or younger person) says “they’ve been doing (whatever verb they’re doing for however long they’ve been doing) for a long time, doesn’t mean they know what it’s like to have that “25″ feel.
You can go through a lot at 18….
and still wouldn’t know how we as “Quarters” feel mainly because of the margin of error in age. Obviously saying when you’re younger than 24 or 25, you can afford to make mistakes. To be honest, the only people that know how we feel as 25 year olds are people OLDER. Since they feel just as worse or greater (depending on what they’re doing with their lives).
I told my best friend that if I make it in life..
She does as well. For that I can and will be the hope she’ll be proud of. In which she is one of the many motivating factors to keep me going in life. I love my best friend and I’ll do anything for her. I can’t say this enough and she’s knows.